Winners give up bad associations, partnerships and relationships.

What happens when pleasing others runs contrary to serving your own best interests? People all over the country have told me that they feel held back by the very people they believe should be helping them succeed. They secretly fear that their own family and friends work against their success…are they crazy? What is it about human nature that makes people a little bit jealous when they see us excel?

People are just like crabs in a bucket; family, can be like crabs in a tall bucket with a lid on it! If you ever have the chance to observe this behavior, do so…it’s fascinating. Imagine a bucket full of crabs…every so often, one will get ambitious and get its claw over the edge. It will start to pull itself up and get its second claw outside of the bucket. It can taste its freedom and its way back to the ocean. Right about this time, the other crabs notice his escape and, instead of cheering and pushing its fellow crab to freedom, the whole lot claws, grabs and pulls the nearly free crab back to the depths of their confinement. This repeats over and over, regardless of which crab tries to escape.

I don’t know exactly why crabs do it, but for people, it’s fear of success. They fear change. They fear the unknown. They fear that you’ll no longer be complicit in their complacency. Improving your own situation holds a mirror up to theirs and it’s easier for them to bring you back down to their level than to grow to yours.

One of the hardest choices you may have to make is to limit spending time with people who hinder your progress. Choose, instead, to surround yourself with like minded, success focused, proven winners. Better yet, spend time with those who are smarter, more driven, and more successful than you. When you abandon the negative thinkers, whiners, gossipers and the complacent, you’ll find yourself enjoying the freedom which lies just outside the bucket.