Are you the type of person that everybody likes? Are you the one that always looks for ways to please your co-workers, friends, bosses or mates? But secretly complains and laments the “concessions” you have made when you get just out of earshot?
Are you the manager, the parent, the friend that everybody loves but don’t challenge your people to be the best they can be?
The one who doesn’t rock the boat too much? Maybe doesn’t speak up for themselves?
Do you make the mistake of thinking you are responsible for other people’s actions? Or worse feelings? (Including their feeling about you?)
Many of us try hard to be liked, maybe too hard.
If you need to be liked by everybody, perhaps that’s what’s keeping you from being the best possible version of yourself?
I had this college professor, Norm Tychsen, from my undergrad he was a p#*ck!! He rubbed people the wrong way. He made people feel “belittled” and “demeaned”. He didn’t cut you much slack. He busted my chops in front of a 400 level class on consumer behavior because I skipped a lecture to be in Key West for Spring Break…what an “A$$hole”!!
He also turned out to be my favorite professor/teacher/mentor to date. This sometimes hard to like old man was not mean, nor unlikeable, nor an a$$hole. In the final analysis he was a man deeply convicted and dedicated to getting the absolute best out of each face in front of him.
He took the time to cut through everybody’s initial layer, their façade, the usually accepted layer of social faux-ness and unchallenged persona’s that we parade around in. He also took the heat for doing so. Sometimes laying bare the truth of what you see in a way that can be cathartic is VERY unpopular.
It makes people uncomfortable, irritated, naked. They don’t like it and didn’t like him for it.
Good leaders, teachers, managers…parents (by good I mean effective) are not always the most popular with the troops, their peers, their spouses or kids for that matter.
Guess what?
Being disliked is OK! There, I said it and now you can relax and take a load off.
It’s perfectly fine if some people don’t like you. Not everybody needs to like you and you should stop trying to make it so, and worrying about it if they don’t.
If and only if, they don’t like you for the “right” reasons.
If a business partner doesn’t like you anymore because you hold them accountable to shortcomings, to plans, to promises…in other words actions…that’s ok.
If a spouse or mate doesn’t like you because you stand up for yourself and they don’t get their way? That’s ok!
If, through your actions you expose the weakness of others and they don’t like you that’s ok.
If you set high expectations for others and yourself, and that makes you unpopular, that’s ok.
If you style your hair different and that makes people edgy, uncomfortable and dislike you…..that’s ok too.
Do not be unkind, do not be underhanded, do not demand things of others that you don’t demand of yourself, don’t ask other do something you are unwilling to do. Act in the best interest of others, even if people don’t immediately accept or realize it. Hold people accountable fairly yet firmly. Hold yourself accountable.
Be happy with yourself, believe in yourself.
Remain steady in your convictions, even if that bothers others.
If you act fairly, with purpose and dignity and some people don’t like you? It has more to do with them NOT liking themselves than not liking you.
Winners only really need 1 (one) person to like them…and that’s themselves.
If you like yourself, the right people will like you too and everybody else will just have to settle for respecting you.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Winners Give Up Closing Shop Before The Day Is Done.
What’s the difference between a dreamer and a doer? Between a rock star and the “wanna be” who remains undiscovered? What’s the difference between the most brilliant of thinkers, with the best ideas, plans and designs and the wealthiest of business people? between a “used car” sales man and a great sales professional?
Just one more call….An old school sales manger named Bob White said this to me at very young age….just ONE more call a day that makes all the difference.
Dial the phone ONE more time. Send out ONE more resume. Answer one more complaint. Practice one more chord. Help one more customer after closing time.
Crunch it out one more time. One more pass, one more chapter.
Just one more.
Crash Davis said it best to Ebby Calvin Laloosh in Bull Durham.
You know what the difference is between hitting .250 and hitting .300? I got it figured out.
Twenty-five hits a year in 500 at bats is 50 points. Okay? There's 6 months in a season, that's about 25 weeks--you get one extra flare a week--just one--a gork, a ground ball with eyes, a dying quail--just one more dying quail a week and you're in Yankee Stadium!
Winners don’t close up shop for the day until they have done, one more…and then maybe “one more” again.
Just one more call….An old school sales manger named Bob White said this to me at very young age….just ONE more call a day that makes all the difference.
Dial the phone ONE more time. Send out ONE more resume. Answer one more complaint. Practice one more chord. Help one more customer after closing time.
Crunch it out one more time. One more pass, one more chapter.
Just one more.
Crash Davis said it best to Ebby Calvin Laloosh in Bull Durham.
You know what the difference is between hitting .250 and hitting .300? I got it figured out.
Twenty-five hits a year in 500 at bats is 50 points. Okay? There's 6 months in a season, that's about 25 weeks--you get one extra flare a week--just one--a gork, a ground ball with eyes, a dying quail--just one more dying quail a week and you're in Yankee Stadium!
Winners don’t close up shop for the day until they have done, one more…and then maybe “one more” again.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Winners Give Up Giving Up!
When I think of ‘hanging in there’, I’m reminded of this story by Earl Nightingale, called “Acres of Diamonds”, from Our Changing World radio transcript:
One of the most interesting Americans who lived in the 19th century was a man by the name of Russell Herman Conwell. He was born in 1843 and lived until 1925. He was a lawyer for about fifteen years until he became a clergyman.
One day, a young man went to him and told him he wanted a college education but couldn't swing it financially. Dr. Conwell decided, at that moment, what his aim in life was, besides being a man of cloth – that is. He decided to build a university for unfortunate, but deserving, students. He did have a challenge, however. He would need a few million dollars to build the university. For Dr. Conwell, and anyone with real purpose in life, nothing could stand in the way of his goal.
Several years before this incident, Dr. Conwell was tremendously intrigued by a true story - with its ageless moral. The story was about a farmer who lived in Africa and through a visitor became tremendously excited about looking for diamonds. Diamonds were already discovered in abundance on the African continent and this farmer got so excited about the idea of millions of dollars worth of diamonds that he sold his farm to head out to the diamond line. He wandered all over the continent, as the years slipped by, constantly searching for diamonds; wealth, which he never found. Eventually he went completely broke and threw himself into a river and drowned.
Meanwhile, the new owner of his farm picked up an unusual looking rock about the size of a country egg and put it on his mantle as a sort of curiosity. A visitor stopped by and in viewing the rock practically went into terminal convulsions. He told the new owner of the farm that the funny looking rock on his mantle was about the biggest diamond that had ever been found. The new owner of the farm said, "Heck, the whole farm is covered with them" - and sure enough it was.
The farm turned out to be the Kimberly Diamond Mine...the richest the world has ever known. The original farmer was literally standing on "Acres of Diamonds" until he sold his farm.
Dr. Conwell learned from the story of the farmer and continued to teach it's moral. Each of us is right in the middle of our own "Acre of Diamonds", if only we would realize it and develop the ground we are standing on before charging off in search of greener pastures. Dr. Conwell told this story many times and attracted enormous audiences. He told the story long enough to have raised the money to start the college for underprivileged deserving students. In fact, he raised nearly six million dollars and the university he founded, Temple University in Philadelphia, has at least ten degree-granting colleges and six other schools.
winners know opportunitiy is always there, hidden, buried, disguised. It’s there all the time…we just have to see it.
One of the most interesting Americans who lived in the 19th century was a man by the name of Russell Herman Conwell. He was born in 1843 and lived until 1925. He was a lawyer for about fifteen years until he became a clergyman.
One day, a young man went to him and told him he wanted a college education but couldn't swing it financially. Dr. Conwell decided, at that moment, what his aim in life was, besides being a man of cloth – that is. He decided to build a university for unfortunate, but deserving, students. He did have a challenge, however. He would need a few million dollars to build the university. For Dr. Conwell, and anyone with real purpose in life, nothing could stand in the way of his goal.
Several years before this incident, Dr. Conwell was tremendously intrigued by a true story - with its ageless moral. The story was about a farmer who lived in Africa and through a visitor became tremendously excited about looking for diamonds. Diamonds were already discovered in abundance on the African continent and this farmer got so excited about the idea of millions of dollars worth of diamonds that he sold his farm to head out to the diamond line. He wandered all over the continent, as the years slipped by, constantly searching for diamonds; wealth, which he never found. Eventually he went completely broke and threw himself into a river and drowned.
Meanwhile, the new owner of his farm picked up an unusual looking rock about the size of a country egg and put it on his mantle as a sort of curiosity. A visitor stopped by and in viewing the rock practically went into terminal convulsions. He told the new owner of the farm that the funny looking rock on his mantle was about the biggest diamond that had ever been found. The new owner of the farm said, "Heck, the whole farm is covered with them" - and sure enough it was.
The farm turned out to be the Kimberly Diamond Mine...the richest the world has ever known. The original farmer was literally standing on "Acres of Diamonds" until he sold his farm.
Dr. Conwell learned from the story of the farmer and continued to teach it's moral. Each of us is right in the middle of our own "Acre of Diamonds", if only we would realize it and develop the ground we are standing on before charging off in search of greener pastures. Dr. Conwell told this story many times and attracted enormous audiences. He told the story long enough to have raised the money to start the college for underprivileged deserving students. In fact, he raised nearly six million dollars and the university he founded, Temple University in Philadelphia, has at least ten degree-granting colleges and six other schools.
winners know opportunitiy is always there, hidden, buried, disguised. It’s there all the time…we just have to see it.
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